ok im gonna do this

i have been avoiding posting on this blog since i set it up. a month ago i lost my step father to cancer. we knew it was comming but his condition declined much more quickly than anyone expected. i have been leary of posting anything about his death for fear of offending anyone in my family. i also feel bad for feeling bad about losing Rudy (my step dad). i have a lovely father who i love very much so who am i to complain. my mother is going through so much pain right now and im sad for me. what the hell is that all about. ug this stinks. so thats why i have been distant. I love Rudy and miss him . he was such a great dad to me when he didnt have to be and i will always be greatfull to him for that. im not going to go on about this but i am going to come back and share the happy goings on in our little mad house.